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Adventures of Billy and Stevie

Adventures of Billy and Stevie

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#1
// drunk, fix later

#2
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public.

#3
return 1; # returns 1

#4
// Magic. Do not touch.

#5
// I’m sorry.

#6
Catch (Exception e) {
//who cares?
}

#7
//This code sucks, you know it and I know it. Move on and call me an idiot later.

#8
/*
* You may think you know what the following code does.
* But you dont. Trust me.
* Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
* night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
* enough to “optimize” the code below.
* Now close this file and go play with something else.
*/

#9
// If this comment is removed the program will blow up

#10
try {

} finally { // should never happen

}
#11
doRun.run(); // … “a doo run run”.

#12
/* Halley’s comment */ Read the rest of this entry »

And Steve jobs never gets old???

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The Fired/Laid-Off Worker – This type is only interested in one thing: revenge. He wants to pay back his boss or another co-worker by wreaking havoc in the company’s computer.

The Messed-Up Kamikaze Dumbass – This persona is quite rare, he will write a malicious virus and then unleash it on his own computer! Then he will sit back and laugh as his computer gets trashed.

The Do-Gooder – This virus writer also belongs to the “dumbass” branch of virus writers. What he does is write a virus, then call McAfee or Norton and tell them about his virus and how to block it, so everybody will be safe from it.

The Prankster - A mostly harmless virus writer here, just makes fake viruses, that don’t do anything, just pretend to erase your hard disk. Or the virus could be something annoying like flipping your mouse keys, opening the cd drive, or restarting the computer every 5 minutes.

The 100% Pure Evil Virus Writer – This is the most feared virus writer of all. If you run across this virus overlord, you might as well go back to a piece of paper and forget about your computer. No virus protection program can save you now, AHAHAHA! This is the virus writer that you heard about on the news last night, yeah you know, the one that knocked out the CIA mainframe.

I’m not anti-social. I’m just not user friendly.

Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
O2.zip

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI …

Ive just loaded COLIN MCRAE HELICOPTER SIMULATOR on to my PC … but it keeps crashing …’

A computer technician says “Why even have a 3-chip Hi-Def camcorder if you can’t calibrate the white balance”!!!!!!!

- How do two programmers make money?
- One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses

A system administrator has 2 problems:
- dumb users
- smart users

How do you tell if a blonde is using a computer?
Their’s liquid paper all over the screen!

“Knock, knock.Who’s there?”
very long pause…
“Java.”

What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman?
The used-car salesman KNOWS when he’s lying.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “Great” he said,
“I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.