1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s face it, English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant.
No ham in the hamburger.
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
And French fries were not invented in France. Read the rest of this entry »

Use them if u hate some1

1. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental !

2. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

4. I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your
looks? Read the rest of this entry »

1. If you’re choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. Read the rest of this entry »

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day

2. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join

3. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

4. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. Read the rest of this entry »