1: I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
  
2: My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she’s 97 years old and we don’t know where the hell she is.
  
3: I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
  
4: The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  
5: I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
  
6: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  
7: The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
  
8: I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
  
9:  If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
  

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