How do you define optimism?
A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday!

What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
The pizza can still feed a family of four.

What’s the capital of Iceland?
About £2.50

What’s the difference between a merchant Bank and Katie Price?
Both are institutions whose reputation is built on assets that, on closer inspection, turn out to be entirely artificial, vastly over-inflated and in danger of going through the floor at any moment. But at least Katie Price is still worth something!

What’s the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
The pigeon can still leave a deposit on a new Ferrari.

The credit crunch helped me get back on my feet.
They repossessed my car!

The bank returned a cheque to me this morning, stamped ‘insufficient
funds’. Is it me or them?

You know it’s a credit crunch when….
.the cash point asks if you can spare any change
.there’s a ‘buy one get one free’ offer on banks
the inland revenue is offering a 25% discount for cash payers
.your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than cash

My bank manager said he was going to concentrate on the big issues
He sold me one the other day outside Boots.

An architect and an economist heard talking.. the architect claims God is an architect as he made the world in seven days out of chaos.
The economist smiles and says; and who do you think made the chaos?

What have an Icelandic bank and a streaker got in common?
They both have frozen assets.

And the best for last?

Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles, ‘you know I could hrow a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very appy’. Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says ‘Well I could throw 5 £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy’. Gordon says Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make en people very happy’. The pilot rolls his eyes and says ‘I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country happy’.

Related posts:

1. Computer Jokes I’m not anti-social. I’m just not user friendly. Girls are...
2. Top 10 Tiger Woods jokes on the web One: Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.