We got off the Titanic first.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Free drinks, free dinners.

We can hug our friends without wondering if they’re gay.

We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay.

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

If we’re not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.

It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.

We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We’ll never discover we’ve been duped by a Wonderbra.

We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

And MY Personal Favorite:

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. I have character lines

A child was born three months after the death of his father. Born prematurely, he was a small child; his mother said that he could easily fit inside a quart mug. When He was three, his mother remarried and went to live with her new husband, leaving her son in the care of his maternal grandmother, Began his schooling in the village schools. When he was 15 yrs, his step father died and his mother came back only to remove him from school and attempted to make a farmer of him. He was thoroughly unhappy with the farm work. One of his high school teacher helped him back to school to complete his education.

At the age of 19 he fell in love, romanced for a year and got engaged to his beloved. But he became engrossed in his studies and let the romance cool itself & she left him & married someone else. He never married. He faced challenges everywhere!

He was born unlucky with much hardship for very survival & struggle for education.
What can you expect that child to do & achieve in life? Think!
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.. Read the rest of this entry »