Follow this tip to increase the priority of active processes, this will result in prioritisation of processes using the CPU.

CTRL-SHIFT-ESC

1.Go to the second tab called Processes, right click on one of the active processes, you will see the Set Priority option

2.For example, your Run your CDwriter program , set the priority higher, and guess what, no crashed CD’s.

Interesting but its true!

Letters ‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’ ‘d’ do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99, (Letter ‘d’ comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters ‘a’, ‘b’ ‘c’ do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999, (Letter ‘a’ comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters ‘b’ ‘c’ do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999, (Letter ‘b’ comes  for the first time in Billion)

and

Letter ‘c’ does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting

Just Try……… ……… …….. except
C ..for…CASH !!

Put about 100 bricks in a room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room, and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them.
Auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Engineering.

If they arrange the bricks in some strange order.
Planning.

If they throw the bricks at each other,
Operations.

If they are sleeping.
Reception.

If they break the bricks into pieces.
Information technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, not a brick has been moved.
Sales.

If they have already left for the day.
Marketing.

If they are staring out of the window.
Strategic Planning.

*Last but not least.*
If they talk to each other, and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them, and put them in top management!!….

If you have been following the news, a recent news item said that loyalty among the top  management was at an all time low .. That there were trust issues as far as top management was concerned especially with the high rate of switching jobs …for greener pastures

Today’s article in a way deals with some such career mistakes Ten career-damaging behaviours to avoid. “O, how full of briers is this working-day world!” is the famous Shakespearian quotefrom `As You Like It’. External pressures, thorns, obstacles and difficulties aside, how many of us are responsible for unwittingly hampering our chances of career successthrough our own misplaced
and misguided attitudes and behaviors.

Below are ten common faux-pas that can ruin a career and should be avoided at all costs.

1. Poor Time Management
Missing deadlines, failing to abide by agreed timelines, arriving to meetings late and generally disrespecting approved schedules is a surefire way to lose credibility and professional respect.

Try to value each and every minute on the job and recognize the inefficiencies that arise from procrastination and slovenly time management and the impact these have on the organisation as a whole.

2. Failure to Deliver on Promises
A promise made should be a promise kept if your professional credibility is to remainintact. Avoid making promises you cannot deliver on. Unless you are known as someonewho can be strictly depended on to follow through and deliver on time you are likely to bepassed over
for promotions and key assignments. When you do need more time or resources for an assignment communicate the requirement formally and professionally and manage the situation to show you are in control and will not be sacrificing on quality of delivery.

3. Poor Accountability
Accountability, a close reactive of honesty is an essential character trait in today’s workplace. Avoid becoming known as the sour apple who usurps all credit and circumvents all blame.
If you have made an error, admitting to it in a timely manner avoids an unnecessary escalation, earns you the confidence and respect of those around you, and indicates professionalism,
honesty and maturity.

4. Poor interpersonal skills
All research indicates that emotional intelligence and people skills are an essential ingredients for success in life and at work.

Whether it is suppliers, clients, superiors, colleagues or subordinates you are dealing with the quality and success of that  relationship will be largely predicated by how personable you are and how pleasant you are to interact with. If you have a reputation as someone who is difficult to work or interact with, chances are people will start to avoid you and your success at mobilizing people or resources to further your goals will be severely diminished.
Read the rest of this entry »

control your spouse

Why waste precious time and energy trying to control the thoughts and actions of your significant other when you can automate the process? Just push a button on the Control-Your-Man Talking Remote or the Control-Your-Woman Talking Remote and let it do it for you.
The remotes deliver a riot of verbal one-offs and funny sound effects sure to keep your spouse on the right track. Features 18 saying including (men control) “Time to listen!”, “What about my needs?”, “What were you thinking?” (Women control) “Zip it!”, “Clean up on aisle four!” and “All right, hand over the credit cards!”.

I’m not anti-social. I’m just not user friendly.

Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
O2.zip

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI …

Ive just loaded COLIN MCRAE HELICOPTER SIMULATOR on to my PC … but it keeps crashing …’

A computer technician says “Why even have a 3-chip Hi-Def camcorder if you can’t calibrate the white balance”!!!!!!!

- How do two programmers make money?
- One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses

A system administrator has 2 problems:
- dumb users
- smart users

How do you tell if a blonde is using a computer?
Their’s liquid paper all over the screen!

“Knock, knock.Who’s there?”
very long pause…
“Java.”

What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman?
The used-car salesman KNOWS when he’s lying.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “Great” he said,
“I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Read the rest of this entry »

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable. “10-4 Good Buddy!”

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line andyou’re going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give your address and exclaim, “Oh, just surprise me!” and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

10. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

11. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say “crazy bread.”

12. Stutter on the letter “p.”

13. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino’s, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!) INSIST they have it.

14. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

15. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, “Okay, that’ll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window.”

16. Ask if you could just rent a pizza.

17. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave asigh of relief.

18. Put the accent on the last syllable of “pepperoni.” Use the long”i” sound.

19. Ask to have your pizza “shaken, not stirred.”

20. When they say, “What would you like?” say, “Huh? You mean now?”
Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a quick & very simple test for you to take. This just proves that we have become way too dependent on our computers.

Q: How Many Legs You Have?

To find out the answer, look down…

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Look down, not scroll down!

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was “running it under Windows.”
The woman then responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next tome is under a window, and his is working fine.”

Tech Support: “OK Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: “I don’t have a ‘P’.”
Tech Support: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Tech Support: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “I’m not going to do that!”

Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: “I’d like a mouse mat, please.”
Salesperson: “Certainly sir, we’ve got a large variety.”
Customer: “But will they be compatible with my computer?”

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.

Customer: “Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?” I work for a local ISP.
Frequently we receive phone calls that start something like this: Customer: “Hi. Is this the Internet?”

Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to “The Internet.”

Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Yeah.”
Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Uhh…uh… uh…yeah. ”

Tech Support: “All right…now double-click on the File Manager icon.”
Customer: “That’s why I hate this Windows — because of the icons — I’m a Protestant, and
I don’t believe in icons.”

Tech Support: “Well, that’s just an industry term sir. I don’t believe it was meant to –”
Customer: “I don’t care about any ‘Industry Terms’. I don’t believe in icons.”
Tech Support: “Well…why don’t you click on the ‘little picture’of a file cabinet…is ‘little picture’ OK?”
Customer: [click]

Customer: “My computer crashed!”
Tech Support: “It crashed?”
Customer: “Yeah, it won’t let me play my game.”
Tech Support: “All right, hit Control-Alt- Delete to reboot.”
Customer: “No, it didn’t crash — it crashed.”
Tech Support: “Huh?”
Customer: “I crashed my game. That’s what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn’t work.”
Tech Support: “Click on ‘File,’ then ‘New Game.’”
Customer: [pause] “Wow! How’d you learn how to do that?”