1.Sit down right next to a complete stranger. Turn and smile. Turn back whenever they look. Then, after a few minutes, stick your nose into their armpit and start to sniff them.

2.Go up to the receptionist with your lips wrapped around your teeth and loudly demand to know when the `movomaime’ is going to wear off.

3.When Doctor says he’s going to prepare the anaesthetic, say ?Don’t worry, I’ve already taken care of that.’

4.Offer the doctor a beer.

5.Go up to the receptionist. When s/he asks if you have an appointment, look wildly around and start whispering the word `appointment?’ under your breath. Then scream it, and jump out a window.

6.After the dentist finishes drilling, say `Now my turn.’

7.When the doctor hammers your knee for the reflex test, smack him/her upside the head with your hand. When he looks at you, shrug.

8.Cut coupons out of magazines in waiting room.

9.When the doctor says, `Take off your clothes’, put on a condom.

10.Take a bottle of grape juice in with you. When they ask for a urine test, go in the bathroom and fill up the jar with grape juice. Give it to them and act really offended when they balk at it.

11.When prescribed pills, ask if they come with water.

12.When doctor prepares to give shot, ask if you can have it in chewable form.

13.Bring a dart board. When the doctor leaves, hang it up on the wall. When s/he brings out the needle, throw it into the board and shout `I win! I win!’

14.Demand typhoid shot. Threaten malpractice suit if doctor refuses.

15.Paint your tongue black. When the dentist asks why your tongue is black, look confused and say `Tongue?’

16.When doctor asks you to take a deep breath, defiantly stare at him/her and then hold your breath until you pass out.

17.Go through the entire check-up while firmly grasping a broadsword.

18.Prior to examination, attach a fig leaf over your crotch. When the doctor asks you to remove it, shake your head and go `Nice try, Doc.’

19.When the doctor asks what the problem is, pull out a dead rodent and ask him/her to fix it. Yell `Murderer!’ until s/he does.

20.When they ask you to put on the paper dress, ask for matching hat and shoes. Failing that, ask for at least an ironing board.
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How many of these can you get? Especially the last 4 are challenging. They are great for bars.

Q1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms: The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

Q2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

Q3. A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, “that’s nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no type of equipment or air pockets!” The magician told the kid if he could do that, he’d give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. Can you figure out how?

Q4. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

Q5. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away?

Q6. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

Q7. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!

Q8. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Q9. If you overtake the last person, then you are…?

Q10. (in your head!) Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Q11. Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Now how many could you answer?

Here are the answers!
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It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night.
The funeral is Wednesday..”

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

“Jack, did you hear me?”

“Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.

“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him.

“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.

“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said.

“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important… Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.

The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture… Jack stopped suddenly.

“What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.
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Test yourself with these thinking exercises. The solutions are at the bottom of the page. Don’t be lazy. Try hard to figure these out before you look! It’ll be a lot more satisfying.

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it’s raining! Why?

This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says, “I can’t operate on this boy, he is my son! ” How can this be?

3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

4. One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How?

5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

6.. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning.. Why did the man not die?

7. A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of 21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. He saw a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did he know?

8. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

9. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says ‘Thank you’ and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.

10. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

11. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

12. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

13. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

14. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? (or day names in any other language)

15. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

The solutions are below…. Don’t be lazy. Try hard to figure these out before you look!

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Here are some awesum one-liners. They might be funny meaningful or just dumb but hey, they are pretty interesting.

1. 43% of all statistics are worthless.
2. 7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
3. 99% of lawyers are giving the rest a bad name.
4. A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.
5. A bad plan is better than no plan.
6. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
9. A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
10. A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
11. A drunk mans’ words are a sober mans’ thoughts.
12. A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
13. A gentleman is a patient wolf.
14. A good pun is its own reword.
15. A little bit of powder, a little bit of paint, makes a girl’s complexion seem what it ain’t.
16. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
17. A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.
18. A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. The woman already knows.
19. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
20. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
21. A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
22. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
23. A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
24. A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.
25. “A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.” — Joseph Stalin
26. A smart man covers his ass, a wise man leaves his pants on.
27. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
28. A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a pool.
29. A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students
30. A weekend wasted isn’t a wasted weekend.
31. A witty saying proves nothing.
32. According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.
33. Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
34. Adult: One old enough to know better.
35. After all is said and done, more is said than done.
36. Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
37. All generalisations are dangerous, even this one.
38. All hope abandon, ye who enter here!
39. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
40. All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
41. All work and no play, will make you a manager.
42. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
43. Am I ranting? I hope so. My ranting gets raves.
44. An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.
45. An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
46. Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art.
47. Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
48. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
49. Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
50. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Read the rest of this entry »

EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn’t enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say “Eat this rice, son! I’m not hungry.”
This was Mother’s First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten, My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, “Eat this fish, son! I don’t really like fish.”
This was Mother’s Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes, which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, “Mother, go to sleep; it’s late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.” Mother smiled and said “Go to sleep, son! I’m not tired.”
This was Mother’s Third Lie.

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her..  Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother’s love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said “Drink, son! I’m not thirsty!”.
This was Mother’s Fourth Lie.
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