10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. Fat Clothes.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
1. Other Women!

Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl,
One was an optimistic soul;
But the other took the gloomy view,
“I shall drown,” he cried, “and so will you.”

So with a last despairing cry,
He closed his eyes and said, “Good-bye.”
But the other frog, with a merry grin
Said, “I can’t get out, but I won’t give in!

I’ll swim around till my strength is spent.
For having tried, I’ll die content.”
Bravely he swam until it would seem
His struggles began to churn the cream.

On the top of the butter at last he stopped
And out of the bowl he happily hopped.
What is the moral? It’s easily found.
If you can’t get out — keep swimming around!

-Author Unknown -

Hey Friends… Please have a Look cool SMS collection.

1. Hold ten roses in ur hand and stand before a mirror………….u will see eleven roses

2. Never Blame any Day In Your Life. Good Days Give You Happiness. Bad Days Give You Experience. Both Are Essential In Life. All Are Gods’ Blessings..

3.  It must have been a rainy day when you were born, but it wasn’t really rain, the sky was crying because it lost its most beautiful angel

4.  When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

5.  When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your wish for today? “I said : please take special care of the person reading this!!!!!”

6.  Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories…. of many good things.

7.  U! I TRUSTED U SO MUCH & UR BIG MOUTH IS NEVER SHUT! WHY DID U TELL OTHERS MY SECRET? U REALLY DISAPPOINTED ME! PLZ STOP TELLING EVERYBODY THAT I M SO CUTE

8.  I have a little angel flying around with a hammer, each person she hits get a little bit of my love…I hope she beats the hell out of you…!

9. When u were born, u were crying and everyone round u was smiling.. Live ur life so that when u die, u’re the one who is smiling and everyone round u is crying..

10.  If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2
The average man’s life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too where he is going.

Thought 3
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced :

‘Ladies and Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life …’ Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, ‘My daughter finally, finally returned my Credit Card to me.’

The whole audience including the priest started laughing . . . . . But not the poor Groom ! ! !
And now the Best one. . . . .

Thought 4
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, ‘If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.’

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, ‘Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.’

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. ‘Who are you?’

‘I am your guardian angel,’ the voice answered.

‘Oh, yeah?’ the man said ‘And where the Hell were you when I got married?’

You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.

You find humor in other people’s stupidity. You want to slap the next person who says “Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free.”

You believe chocolate is a food group.

You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe “Shallow gene pool” should have its own box in the report card.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”

When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know to correct their behavior.

You have no life between August to June.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

You believe in aerial Prozac spraying.

You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.

You’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would “Never DREAM” of doing your job.

You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

You know you are in for a major project when a parent says: “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss. I think it would be such fun.”

You want to choke a person when they say “Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you.”

Meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question “Why is this kid like this?”

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable. “10-4 Good Buddy!”

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line andyou’re going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give your address and exclaim, “Oh, just surprise me!” and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

10. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

11. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say “crazy bread.”

12. Stutter on the letter “p.”

13. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino’s, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!) INSIST they have it.

14. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

15. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, “Okay, that’ll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window.”

16. Ask if you could just rent a pizza.

17. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave asigh of relief.

18. Put the accent on the last syllable of “pepperoni.” Use the long”i” sound.

19. Ask to have your pizza “shaken, not stirred.”

20. When they say, “What would you like?” say, “Huh? You mean now?”
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It is precisely that quality time that we long to have returned to us these days but unfortunately, I don’t see that ever happening.

When I say quality time, then it surely is that time that we spent during our childhood years. Living in nostalgia is quite pleasant at times. These were the years in which we did not have much access or knowledge about cellular phones, internet availability, PC’s, PDA’s, etc. etc. or any of these high-tech gadgets of today that we simply cannot breathe without; or so it seems.

These items have been made into our necessities. Items that make us feel lost if we are without them. However, we do not feel lost if we are without Islamic guidance and knowledge that holds more precedence at any given time, doesn’t it?

I remember growing up with my siblings and feeling life’s simplest pleasures. The littlest things in life brought so much joy and happiness to our hearts. As opposed to today, while such gadgets exist amongst us in society, we are still stressed out and full of tensions and probabley now more than ever. Sometimes I wonder how much sense that actually makes. Wasn’t technology supposed to make our lives a lot more easier and stress-free? Rather it has been all the more successful in making us much lazier and lethargic. It has not only been successful in doing that, but it has also taken away so much of our precious time spent with our loved ones. Whether it be our parents, siblings, spouses or children, we are just not around them as much to spend that valuable time as much as we would like to be. But obviously who is to blame for that now?

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Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there
won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake. Go to the bakery! Hell, they’ll even decorate it for you!

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant ‘fix-me-up.’

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too bad. Please recite with me the real woman’s motto: ‘I made it, you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes!’

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Celery? What the heck’s that?

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don’t.
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip
that makes opening jars easy.Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine??????????? HELLOOOOO!!!!!!!

Lastly, if you don’t forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.

Really…. It’s true! Have I ever lied to you?

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night.
The funeral is Wednesday..”

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

“Jack, did you hear me?”

“Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.

“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him.

“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.

“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said.

“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important… Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.

The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture… Jack stopped suddenly.

“What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.
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Test yourself with these thinking exercises. The solutions are at the bottom of the page. Don’t be lazy. Try hard to figure these out before you look! It’ll be a lot more satisfying.

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it’s raining! Why?

This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says, “I can’t operate on this boy, he is my son! ” How can this be?

3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

4. One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How?

5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

6.. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning.. Why did the man not die?

7. A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of 21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. He saw a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did he know?

8. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

9. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says ‘Thank you’ and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.

10. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

11. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

12. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

13. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

14. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? (or day names in any other language)

15. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

The solutions are below…. Don’t be lazy. Try hard to figure these out before you look!

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