Are you controlling them or vice-versa?
We humans spend much of our time trying to control every aspect of our lives.
Unfortunately, too often we try and control things that are simply beyond our control.
The list of what we can control is quite short, but once you know these 10 things you will be able to take control of your own life.

1. What you do: Your actions are yours alone.
You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.

2. What you say: Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen.
Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.

3. What you think:
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can’t control.
But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.

4. Your work:
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say, “Oh, I’m! trapped in my job because I don’t have a degree, experience, etc.”
That’s simple a way of denying one’s responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place.
It’s your job and you chose it.
If you stay (or go), that’s a choice as well.

5. The people you associate with:
There’s a famous T-shirt that states: “It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys.”
Colloquial is very often correct!
Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down.
You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.
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Often, moms do virtually all of the giving and very little, if any, of the taking from their families. They may not say it, but most of them want to be appreciated in small ways. You don’t have to buy them a car or a house (you could do that too), but it’s the small things that count with mom.

Here are some ideas of how you can let mom know that all of her giving has and continues to be appreciated.

1. Give mom a vacation
Don’t think Hawaii . Think of a day away from the kitchen. Or the home. Give her a vacation from the home where for her, most of the seemingly endless housework is done daily. Or, if she doesn’t want that, start doing your share around the house. Maybe you could start giving her one day of the week off, when she does no cooking or household chores. Remember, fathers and husbands work hard at the office, but they get a two-day weekend in most cases. Moms usually don’t even get a full day off. And if they are also working outside, it’s like two full time jobs.

2. Let’s hear her life story: a mom’s circle
She may have read you bedtime stories when you were small, but now it’s time for her to tell you a different story-about herself. Make a mom’s circle at home in which you ask her to tell her life story. Mom’s circle may actually turn into a project: one family member could write this up into a report, another could make a story book out of it and a third could video/audio record it. A mom’s circle may become an ongoing family tradition.

3. Try beating mom’s cooking
While most moms ask their kids what they want to eat, turn the tables around and do the same for her. Is there special food your mom likes? Buy or prepare that food for her (if you are not the best of cooks, maybe it’s safer to just buy it).

4. Is your mom in a nursing home
If your mom is in a nursing home, why not plan to bring her home for a weekend visit to stay with you. Even better, why not make this a weekly, or twice a month set up, so you can spend more time with her and she can be around those who really love her more often? Of course the ultimate gift will be if you can liberate her from that nursing home so she can stay in her room in your own home.

5. Arrange a mammogram for her
Every three minutes, a woman in America is diagnosed with breast cancer. That woman could be your mom.

A woman’s chances of developing breast cancer increases with age. The National Cancer Institute recommends women age 40 and over be screened with mammography every one to two years. It also advises that women at higher risk of breast cancer get medical advice before they are 40 about when to begin screening and about the frequency of their screening. Do this for your mom, so you can see her spend the rest of her life in good health, Insha Allah (if God wills).
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