Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you’d least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human…to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

9. A complex system that doesn’t work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

Law 1 ..Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by manager.

Law 2. The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as when deadline force is applied.

Law 3. For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite Software Implementation.

Bonus Law 4 .. Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.

The Inevitable Laws of Work

1 If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

2 Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

3 It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you’re going to do.

4 After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

5 You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

6 When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

7 There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

8 Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”

9 Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

10 If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

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