During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, ” How do I know if I married the right person ?”

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, ” It Depends. Is that your husband?”

In all seriousness, she answered ” How do you know?”

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s Weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked Their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… Because
it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, ” I was swept of my feet.” Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,  drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, ” Did I marry The right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for  their Unhappiness and look
outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is The most obvious. But  sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
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How to create your own self confidence and happiness.

Tip 1: What you focus on makes a difference. What are you focusing on?

Tip 2: Your attitude towards your life and everything around you makes the difference between contentment and dissatisfaction. Is your attitude negative or positive?

Tip 3: Developing gratitude for what you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t have, is a source of great happiness. List 10 things to be thankful for.

Tip 4. Kindness can lead to confidence. When you are kind to someone you can feel good. When you feel good your confidence increases. Who will you be kind to today?

Tip 5. Look at the problems others have. If you feel miserable or are thinking badly of yourself, ask yourself, “Would you rather be living in Iraq or where you are?” Always keep your own problems in perspective for greater happiness.

Tip 6. Say thank you. Thank the people around you for the kind things they do for you. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, they may just have made you a cup of tea or called you. Give thanks. Write down ten things you can thank people for today.

Tip 7. Generosity without expecting anything in return can lead to confidence. When you are generous to someone you can feel good. When you feel good your confidence increases. Who will you be generous to today?
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1. When you help others you help yourself automatically.

2. Your smile brings happiness to the world around you.

3. People are not perfect and that is perfect.

4. Your heart always sees the truth. Trust it.

5. You can do anything you want. What are your wants?

6. You are living to make this world better. Make the best of yourself.

7. Life is anything without happiness. Do what makes you happy.

8. You will never be completely happy without making others happy.

9. Your fears are illusory. Face your illusions.

10. Gratitude is important. Be thankful for the every moment of your life.

That is just the beginning – add your rules to this list. Let’s make it together!

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive
We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away — but a smile draws them in.

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood
Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile..�There’s a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious
When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress
Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you’ll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don’t go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day — you’ll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive
Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It’s hard.. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that “Life is Good!” Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

Here are some inputs on body language that would be of great help to all in their day-to-day life, personally and professionally.

What you say is important, but, What you do is very very important. It has been researched that your body does not lie. Most commonly used body gestures and their meaning.So they would be of help to you.

Arms crossed over chest – Defensiveness or anxiety
Swinging arm – Want to walk away from a situation
Eye blinking – Fast blinking signals stress
Downward gaze – Feeling defeated
Taking notes – Shows interest or involvement
Hand over mouth – Can mean boredom
Arms behind head and leaning back – Looking for power or control
Unbuttoning coat – Openness
Buttoning coat – Feels trapped and wants to leave
Standing with hands behind back – Confidence
Clearing throat- Nervousness
Rubbing back of neck – Defensiveness
Hands flat on table – Ready to agree
Stroking chin – Evaluating or thinking
Foot tapping – Impatience
Rubbing the eye – Doubt or disbelief
Rubbing hands – Anticipation
Tilted head – Interest
Pulling / tugging ear – Indecision

So next time you are communicating be aware of your and the other persons body language and understand what it means.

One Dozen Timeless Ways  to be Happy!

Our passions, expectations, life experiences, and even our personalities all contribute to the level of happiness we experience in our lives. Some find happiness in their careers while others find ways to be happy in their marriages or other relationships

No matter how you define happiness for yourself, there are certain universal and time-proven strategies to bring, and sustain, more happiness into your life. The following one dozen timeless ways to be happy can be adapted and even customized to fit your needs. Over time, these strategies will become positive and life-changing habits that will begin to bring more happiness, joy and peace into your life.

Notice What’s Right
Some of us see the glass as being half-full and others see the glass as half-empty. The next time you are caught in traffic, begin thinking how nice it is to have a few moments to reflect on the day, focus on a problem you have been trying to solve, or brainstorm on your next big idea. The next time you get in the slow line at the grocery store, take the opportunity to pick up a tabloid magazine and do some œguilty pleasure? reading. Take all that life throws out you and reframe it with what’s right about the situation. At the end of the day, you will more content, at peace and happy. Take the time to begin to notice what’s right and see the world change in front of your eyes.

Be Grateful
How many times do you say the words œthank you,? in a day? How many times do you hear these same words? If you are doing the first thing, saying the œthank yous,? the latter will naturally happen. Learn to be grateful and you will be open to receive an abundance of joy and happiness.

Remember the Kid You Were
Do you remember how to play? I’m not referring to playing a round of golf or a set of tennis. I’m talking about playing like you did when you were a child  a game of tag; leap frog, or street baseball when the bat is a broken broom handle and the bases are the parked cars. One way to find or maintain your happiness is to remember the kid you were and play!

Be Kind
There is no question that by merely watching acts of kindness creates a significant elevation in our moods and increases the desire for us to perform good deeds as well. Kindness is indeed contagious and when we make a commitment to be kind to ourselves and to others we can experience new heights of joy, happiness and enthusiasm for our lives.
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1. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

2. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands.”

3. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”

4. “Amen”

5. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”

6. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper”

7. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.”

8. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”

9. “Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”

10. “Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

A–Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they’ve made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B–Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C–Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D–Decide
Decide that you’ll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E–Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you’ll learn more about yourself.

F–Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G–Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H–Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I–Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J–Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you’ll grow.

K–Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they’ll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L–Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there’s room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there’s room for endless happiness.
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1. If it is all the same to you I won’t be coming in to work. The voices
told me to clean all the guns today.

2. I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back
an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum
loop, re-living Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit
the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly,
resetting the clocks in the house, while simultaneously rapping my dog on
the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

3. My stigmata’s acting up.

4. I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss,
who fired me for not showing up for work. Ok?

5. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have
that deadline to meet…

6. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the supermarket.

7. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey,
how about them Skins, huh? So, I won’t be able to, yes, can I help you? No,
no, I’ll be sticking with MCI, but thank you for calling.

8. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

9. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come
to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

10. The psychiatrist said we had an excellent session. He even gave me this
jaw restraint so I won’t bite things when I am startled.

11. When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac.
Now I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it.

12. The dog ate my car keys. Now we’re going to hitchhike to the vet.

13. I’d prefer to remain an enigma.
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Some people are part of your life, whether you want them there or not. What if you don´t have the warmest of feelings for your boss? Your mother-in-law? Your next-door neighbor?

It´s easy to come up with a mental catalog of all the ways in which that person could change to be less annoying, domineering, passive-aggressive, arrogant, etc.-but the fact is, you can´t change anyone but yourself.

Here are some tips about how to help yourself cultivate more friendly feelings. It´s quite a strain to hide feelings of dislike;  if you can manage to change your feelings, you´ll be much happier. It´s hard, but not impossible.

1. Seek contact. This is a bit counter-intuitive. If you don’t like someone, you probably feel like avoiding that person, but because of the psychological phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect, we tend to like people better the more we see them.

2. Do nice things for that person. “We prefer to see those to whom we do good than those
who do good to us,” as La Rochefoucauld observed.

3. Give that person a brief touch. Subliminal touching, i.e., touching a person so unobtrusively that it´s not noticed, increases people´s sense of well-being and positive feelings.

4. Lighten up. Joke about whatever annoys you, and if you can manage it, laugh about it with that person, or poke fun at your own reaction. Nothing neutralizes bad feelings like a good laugh.
This can be tough, however.

5. Act friendly. We think we act because of the way we feel, but often we feel because of the way we act. So act the way you want to feel. This is uncannily effective-just try it.

6. Resist criticizing that person. When you voice your complaints, they assume a solidity in your mind that´s hard to eliminate. When your thoughts remain unspoken, they can more easily be changed.

7. Remember happy shared experiences. Recalling good times elevates mood and will help warm your feelings.

8. Be grateful. Reflecting on reasons to feel grateful, instead of reasons to be angry or annoyed, will help change your view.   We think we act because of the way we feel, but often we feel because of the way we act.  So act the way you want to feel. This is uncannily effective-just try it.