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Adventures of Billy and Stevie

Adventures of Billy and Stevie

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More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska.

The Amazon rainforest produces more than 20% the world’s oxygen supply.

The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean.  The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States.

Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.

Ninety percent of the world’s ice covers Antarctica . This ice also represents seventy  percent of all the fresh water in the world. As strange as it sounds, however, Antarctica is essentially a desert. The average yearly total precipitation is about two inches Although covered with ice (all but 0.4% of it, ice.), Antarctica is the driest place on the planet, with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert.

Brazil got its name from the nut, not the other way around.

Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined. Canada is an Indian word meaning ‘ Big Village.’
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

What you call dog with no legs? Don’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Last night I was looking at the stars and I wondered… where the hell’s my ceiling!

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

When God made me he was just showin off !

If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

I want you here but now that you’re there .. Take care

R ur legs tired, bcoz u’ve been runnin through my mind all day long.

Do u have a bandaid ? Bcoz i just scraped my knee falling for u.

There must be somethin wrong with my eyes i cant take them off u.

Girl, u better have a license coz u r drivin me crazy.

If u need space, join NASA.

Your village just called, they are missing their idiot!

*You’ve got choices.*

You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5.. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when
you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can retire to California where
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5.. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought..

You can retire to New York City where
1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature.”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. Read the rest of this entry »