#1
// drunk, fix later

#2
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public.

#3
return 1; # returns 1

#4
// Magic. Do not touch.

#5
// I’m sorry.

#6
Catch (Exception e) {
//who cares?
}

#7
//This code sucks, you know it and I know it. Move on and call me an idiot later.

#8
/*
* You may think you know what the following code does.
* But you dont. Trust me.
* Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
* night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
* enough to “optimize” the code below.
* Now close this file and go play with something else.
*/

#9
// If this comment is removed the program will blow up

#10
try {

} finally { // should never happen

}
#11
doRun.run(); // … “a doo run run”.

#12
/* Halley’s comment */ Read the rest of this entry »

1. Turn the radio on. When the testor goes to turn it off slap his/her hand.

2. Rev the car really high, turn to the tester, and say with an evil look,”buckle up!”

3. Knock over every cone while doing maneuverability. In the middle of it,get out and check to see if you have hit every one.

4. Come dressed in a suit. Before the examiner gets in the car, ask him/herto put a piece of saran wrap down so he doesnt dirty the seat.

5. When the examiner tells you to stop, step on the gas. Tell him/her thatyou thought it was the brake.

6. When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the hood clutch and say “oops”.

7. Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, “now which one is thegas again?”

8. After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood, and get out and checkthe oil.

9. Fill your car with beer bottles.

10. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells likemothballs.

11. Tell the Registar that you are taking the remedial test.

12. In the middle of driving, put your arm around the examiner.

13. Swear at everybody on the road.

14. When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and forth between the person next to you and the light.

15. Beep your horn at everything.

16. Break off your rear-view mirror and then ask the examiner to hold it up.

Quote:
1. You immediately complain that this should be subscripted as zero.

2. Most people say “Go To Hell,” but you tell people to redirect to /dev/null.

3. By the time you’ve gotten here in the document, you’ve run Tidy or a similar app to check my X/HTML skills.

4. The statement (0×2b||!0×2b) makes sense to you.

5. You find 4 funny.

6. You note with disgust that it always evaluates to true, since 0×2b != 0.

7. Point 6 disgusts you, because under other languages than C++ (Java, per se), it would throw an exception, runtime error, etc.
Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a quick & very simple test for you to take. This just proves that we have become way too dependent on our computers.

Q: How Many Legs You Have?

To find out the answer, look down…

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Look down, not scroll down!

Internet Eddict.

My whole world is INTERNET,
Nothing more.. nothing less..
Morning I rise.. and click on Net,
and stare at the Monitor..as buttons I press.

Know no hours.. know no day..
Sites I see .. and Games I play..
Surfing and browsing..
as I keep on downloading,
and keep staring at sexy display.

Group Mails I see..
Forwards and replies..
Delete most of them.. and save some in my files,
Chat on Messenger with friends I adore,
And sign off only when my eyes can take no more.

Saddest is my day.. when my computer goes astray,
Or Net connection off, or Power goes off all the way..
I bang my head on keyboard..
and shake and hit the Motherboard..

And frustrated I pray :–
“Oh God… bring back my Net..
and let the Power be on whole day
Spare me this agony and depression I get,
Punish me some other way,
but never take my pleasure of Internet away.”

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error.
-Janet Coleman

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
-Andy Rooney

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
-George Carlin

If all the world’s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
- Paul Beatty

In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out.
-Joey Adams