Questions:

1. What is as big as you are and yet does not weigh anything?

2.Two cannibals were chatting as they had their dinner. One complained that he really quite disliked his new mother-in-law. What was the advice given to him by his companion?

3. Paul’s height is six feet, he’s an assistant at a butcher’s shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?

4. What types of words are these: Madam, civic, eye, level.

5. What ends everything always?

6. When you have me, you feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you don’t have me. What am I?

7. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed three days, and rode out again on Friday. How did he do that?

8. The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who purchases it does not use it. The person who does use it does not know he or she is. What is it?

9. It is an insect, and the first part of its name is the name of another insect. What is it?

10. 2 fathers and 2 sons go fishing. Each of them catches one fish. So why do they bring home only 3 fishes?

11. Which is the longest word in English?

12. You can hold it without using your hands or arms. What is it?

13. What do the letter ‘t’ and an island have in common?

14. Which is the word in English that has nine letters, and remains a word at each step even when you remove one letter from it, right up to a single letter remaining. List each letter as you remove them, along with the resulting word at each step.

15. Complete this sequence of letters: o, t, t, f, f, s, s, _, _, _. Read the rest of this entry »

Just Check This Out !!!!

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

man
1. ————
board

Ans. = man overboard

stand
2. ————
i

Ans. = I understand

OK?…. Got the drift?

Let’s try a few now and see how you fair?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

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..

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Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a
d

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Ans. = cross road Read the rest of this entry »

to help you each day…………

Toothpick … to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone, including yourself.

Rubber band … to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out.

Band-Aid … to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else’s.

Eraser … to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That’s okay, we learn by our errors.

Candy Kiss … to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.

Mint … to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & Me.

Bubble Gum … to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

Pencil … to remind you to list your blessings every day.

Tea Bag … to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of God’s blessings.

This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day

Wishing you love, gratitude, friends to cherish, caring, sharing, laughter, music, and warm feelings in your heart.

1. Turn the radio on. When the testor goes to turn it off slap his/her hand.

2. Rev the car really high, turn to the tester, and say with an evil look,”buckle up!”

3. Knock over every cone while doing maneuverability. In the middle of it,get out and check to see if you have hit every one.

4. Come dressed in a suit. Before the examiner gets in the car, ask him/herto put a piece of saran wrap down so he doesnt dirty the seat.

5. When the examiner tells you to stop, step on the gas. Tell him/her thatyou thought it was the brake.

6. When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the hood clutch and say “oops”.

7. Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, “now which one is thegas again?”

8. After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood, and get out and checkthe oil.

9. Fill your car with beer bottles.

10. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells likemothballs.

11. Tell the Registar that you are taking the remedial test.

12. In the middle of driving, put your arm around the examiner.

13. Swear at everybody on the road.

14. When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and forth between the person next to you and the light.

15. Beep your horn at everything.

16. Break off your rear-view mirror and then ask the examiner to hold it up.

Math can be terrifying for many people. This list will hopefully improve your general knowledge of mathematical tricks and your speed when you need to do math in your head.

1. The 11 Times Trick
We all know the trick when multiplying by ten – add 0 to the end of the number, but did you know there is an equally easy trick for multiplying a two digit number by 11? This is it:

Take the original number and imagine a space between the two digits (in this example we will use 52:

5_2

Now add the two numbers together and put them in the middle:

5_(5+2)_2

That is it – you have the answer: 572.

If the numbers in the middle add up to a 2 digit number, just insert the second number and add 1 to the first:

9_(9+9)_9

(9+1)_8_9

10_8_9

1089 – It works every time.

2. Quick Square
If you need to square a 2 digit number ending in 5, you can do so very easily with this trick. Mulitply the first digit by itself + 1, and put 25 on the end. That is all!

252 = (2x(2+1)) & 25

2 x 3 = 6

625

3. Multiply by 5
Most people memorize the 5 times tables very easily, but when you get in to larger numbers it gets more complex – or does it? This trick is super easy.

Take any number, then divide it by 2 (in other words, halve the number). If the result is whole, add a 0 at the end. If it is not, ignore the remainder and add a 5 at the end. It works everytime:

2682 x 5 = (2682 / 2) & 5 or 0

2682 / 2 = 1341 (whole number so add 0)

13410

Let’s try another:

5887 x 5

2943.5 (fractional number (ignore remainder, add 5)

29435

22189271
Read the rest of this entry »

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

11. Eat food that requires silverware.

12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.

13. Sing without having the radio on.

14. Honk frequently without motivation.

15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
Read the rest of this entry »

BMW – Big Money Waste

BUICK – Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer

CHEVROLET – Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

CHEVY – Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet

DODGE – Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT – Fix It Again Tomorrow

FORD – Found On Road Dead

GM – Grinding Metal

GMC – Gotta Mechanic Coming

HONDA – Hold On, Not Done Accelerating

JEEP – Just Enough Engine Power

KIA – Killed In Action

MAZDA – Made At Zoo by Demented Apes

MG – Mostly Garaged

OLDSMOBILE – Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Increasingly Late Everyday

PINTO – Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants

PLYMOUTH – Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood

PONTIAC – Poor Old Nebraskan, Thinks It’s A Cadillac

PORSCHE – Piece Of Rusty Scrap, Cost Highly Expensive

SUBARU – Still Usable But All Rusty Underneath

TOYOTA – The One You Ought To Avoid

VW – Virtually Worthless

Start Worrying When…

You consider McDonalds ‘real food’.

4.00AM is still early on weekends.

You’d rather clean than study.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

Re-arranging your room is your favorite pastime.

You schedule classes around sleep and TV soaps.

There is less then $4.50 in your bank account at any given time.

The Visa cards are full and the overdraft is up to its limit.

Computer solitaire is more than a game, its a way of life.

You get excited when you find change that someone carelessly left in the drinks machine.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘For Marijuana’.

3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

5. Sing along at the Opera.

6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’

7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’

8. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE:
Not too bright.

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED:
Made no major blunders – yet.

ACTIVE SOCIALLY:
Drinks a lot.

FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY:
Spouse drinks, too.

CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH:
Still one step ahead of the cops.

ZEALOUS ATTITUDE:
Opinionated.

QUICK THINKING:
Offers plausible excuses for mistakes.

CAREFUL THINKER:
Won’t make a decision.

TAKES PRIDE IN WORK:
Conceited.

PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT:
Buys drinks for all the boys in the office at happy hour.

FORCEFUL:
Argumentative.

AGGRESSIVE:
Obnoxious.

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS:
Gets someone else to do it.

A KEEN ANALYST:
Thoroughly confused.
Read the rest of this entry »