1) Opinion
Westerners: Talk to the point
Asians: Talk around the circle, especially if opinions are different

(2) Way of Life
Westerners: individualism, think of himself or herself.
Asians: enjoy gathering with family and friends, solving their problems, and know each other’s business.

(3) Punctuality

Westerners: on time.
Asians: in time.

(4) Contacts
Westerners: Contact to related person only.
Asians: Contact everyone everywhere, business very successful.

(5) Anger
Westerners: Show that I am angry.
Asians: I am angry, but still smiling… (Beware!)

(6) Queue when Waiting
Westerners: Queuing in an orderly manner.
Asians: Queuing?! What’s that?

(7) Sundays on the Road
Westerners: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully.
Asians: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall.

(8) Party
Westerners: Only gather with their own group.
Asians: All focus on the one activity that is hosted by the CEO.

(9) In the restaurant
Westerners: Talk softly and gently in the restaurant.
Asians: Talk and laugh loudly like they own the restaurant.

(10) Travelling
Westerners: Love sightseeing and enjoy the scenery.
Asians: Taking picture is the most important; scenery is just for the background.

(11) Handling of Problems
Westerners: Take any steps to solve the problems.
Asians: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don’t leave any trail.

(12) Three meals a day
Westerners: Good meal for once a day is sufficed.
Asians: At least 3 good meals a day.

(13) Transportation
Westerners: Before drove cars, now cycling for environmental protection.
Asians: Before no money and rode a bike, now got money and drive a car

(14) Elderly in day-to-day life
Westerners: When old, there is snoopy for companionship.
Asians: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to babysit grandkids.

(15) Moods and Weather
Westerners: The logic is: rain is pain.
Asians: More rain, more prosperity

(16) The Boss
Westerners: The boss is part of the team.
Asians: The boss is a fierce god.

(17) What’s Trendy
Westerners: Eat healthy Asian cuisine.
Asians: Eat expensive Western cuisine.

(18) The Child
Westerners: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living.
Asians: Slog whole life for the kids, the centre of your life.

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN) for6 am.
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his
electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a
dress shirt
(MADE IN SRILANKA),
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and
tennis shoes
(MADE INKOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new
electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his
calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today. After setting his
watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)
filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia)
and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging
and fruitless day
checking his
Computer
(made in MALAYSIA),
John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL),
poured himself a glass of
wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his
TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can’t
find a good paying job
in AMERICA
AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT MADE IN KENYA

We got off the Titanic first.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Free drinks, free dinners.

We can hug our friends without wondering if they’re gay.

We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay.

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

If we’re not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.

It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.

We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We’ll never discover we’ve been duped by a Wonderbra.

We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

How do you define optimism?
A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday!

What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
The pizza can still feed a family of four.

What’s the capital of Iceland?
About £2.50

What’s the difference between a merchant Bank and Katie Price?
Both are institutions whose reputation is built on assets that, on closer inspection, turn out to be entirely artificial, vastly over-inflated and in danger of going through the floor at any moment. But at least Katie Price is still worth something!

What’s the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
The pigeon can still leave a deposit on a new Ferrari.

The credit crunch helped me get back on my feet.
They repossessed my car!

The bank returned a cheque to me this morning, stamped ‘insufficient
funds’. Is it me or them?

You know it’s a credit crunch when….
.the cash point asks if you can spare any change
.there’s a ‘buy one get one free’ offer on banks
the inland revenue is offering a 25% discount for cash payers
.your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than cash

My bank manager said he was going to concentrate on the big issues
He sold me one the other day outside Boots.

An architect and an economist heard talking.. the architect claims God is an architect as he made the world in seven days out of chaos.
The economist smiles and says; and who do you think made the chaos?

What have an Icelandic bank and a streaker got in common?
They both have frozen assets.

And the best for last?

Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles, ‘you know I could hrow a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very appy’. Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says ‘Well I could throw 5 £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy’. Gordon says Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make en people very happy’. The pilot rolls his eyes and says ‘I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country happy’.