Posts Tagged ‘WOMEN’
Every Woman Should Know This
Sunday, November 29, 2009 21:40 No CommentsI love this and I absolutely had to share it with you. Its so simple and yet so true
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
How to live alone… Even if she doesn’t like it…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
Something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
A youth she’s content to leave behind….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
A past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….
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A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
One friend who always makes her laugh… And one who lets her cry..
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
A feeling of control over her destiny…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
How to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.. .
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
That her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
Whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.. .
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
Where to go… Be it to her best friend’s kitchen table… Or a charming inn in the woods… When her soul needs soothing…
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EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day… A month…and a year…

What Woman Say & What It Means
Thursday, October 29, 2009 22:00 No CommentsCAN’T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
…. without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven’t had a fight in a while.
NO, PIZZA’S FINE.
…. you cheap slob!
I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.
I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can’t believe you have nothing planned.
COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.
I LIKE YOU, BUT…
I don’t like you.
OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
…. just not in that way.
YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.
WE’RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
I’m not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.
I’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.
OH, NO, I’LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I’m just being nice; there’s no way I’m going dutch.
OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!
Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.
I’M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
We’re gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

One Flaw In Women
Monday, October 19, 2009 22:42 No CommentsWomen have strengths that amaze men..
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
But they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
And laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take ‘no’ for an answer
When they believe there is a better solution.
They love unconditionally.
They are happy when they hear about
A birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
Yet they are strong when they
Think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
Can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
To show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
Makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
Family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
And everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Woman over 40
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 21:57 No CommentsIn case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’, here’s an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
Forward to five fine, fun, fabulous, fancy-free female friends over 40 or who have female friends over 40!
Annual mmeting of women drivers
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 4:56 No Comments
Men + Women = 2 Donkeys – Mathematical Proof
Thursday, February 5, 2009 5:09 No CommentsEquation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Men = Donkry + earn money
Therefore:
Men-earn money = Donkey
In other words
Men who d’nt earn mony = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3
Women= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Women = Donkey + spend
Women – spend = Donkey
In other words,
Women who don’t spend = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men who don’t earn money = Women who don’t spend
So Men earn money not to let women become donkey!
And women spend not to let men become donkey!
So, We have:
Men + Women = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Men + Women = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
If women rule the world
Sunday, October 26, 2008 2:49 No Comments This was posted under category: funny-picsMen vs Women in the mornings
Friday, October 17, 2008 10:30 No Comments This was posted under category: funny-picsMen–Women—The difference!
Friday, October 17, 2008 6:42 No CommentsNICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Complex women
Monday, October 6, 2008 7:46 No CommentsWomen Are Such Complex Creatures:
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don’t you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don’t, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don’t you are not understanding.
If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don’t she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don’t, she says you are a dull guy.
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it is a girls way.
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.
If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
IN SHORT…
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So daming, yet so wonderful… WOMEN !







